That's All Folks

Hey all,

I've decided after much reflection to not renew ShotgunReviews.com.  It had a great run for several years and was critical for me on a lot of levels.  The underlying blogspot (themightyshotgunreviews.blogspot.com) will still be accessible, but I haven't been able to devote time and energy toward Shotgun in a long time.  The brief resurgence for the advent of Sparkshooter was great, but it's time for me to move along.

As most of you know, I'm doing Solo Acoustic (with Ben Olson) and Sparkshooter (with Sarah Vaughn) at www.sparkshooter.com.  I hope you all check that out.  I'm also continuing to write a lot for Zenescope and should have more things elsewhere, some with Matt Brady and some with other surprise people.  I just wrote a new run of trading cards too that has to be quiet for a while.

I think, going with the blogspot, that I'll leave the ShotgunReviews FB page up and continue to post the odd funny thing there like I do now.

Thank you all.  I can't really overstate how much fun it was.  Hope you had a good time.  I know I did.

Thanks,

Talk to you all soon,

Troy

Geekier Than Thou

When I was younger, I really liked punk music, and I wanted to know more about the punk scene.  I didn’t have a chance to learn much in my small, quiet Midwestern town, but when I went to college, suddenly there was a much broader world open to me.  I made a couple friends who were punks, and they invited me to some shows.  I went to those shows, and then I never went back.  I kept listening to the music, but the mean looks and rude treatment from scenesters who thought I was beneath them because I didn’t dress a certain way and couldn’t answer questions about zillions of obscure punk bands alienated me permanently.  I didn’t go to another truly punk show for a very long time.  I wasn’t (and still am not) interested in pretending to be something I’m not just to fit in with an elitist group of people who think that only if you conform to their standards of the scene can you be one of them. 

This is why the idea of excoriating “fake” geeks makes me so angry.  The desire for everyone in your scene to like exactly the things you like and to present themselves ONLY in exactly the ways you prefer is exclusionary and, frankly, ridiculous.  The comics industry needs as much new blood as possible, and if you don’t like what those other people create or read, then you don’t have to look at it or hang out with them.  Without new blood, the industry will die.  This is not me being alarmist.   The traditional comic geek is growing old and will eventually be gone.  That doesn’t mean those people aren’t worth keeping.  But it does mean that the comic industry as a whole needs to encourage demographic diversity.  Women, children, people of color, and LGBT folks are all groups that need to be better served by the comic industry as a whole - and welcoming those groups with open arms can do nothing but good things for the industry.  Excluding them, however, means that our industry continues to dwindle.  People will only stick around for so long when they are being made to feel unwelcome and less than everyone else in a scene.  Diversity doesn’t make your interest less YOURS and it doesn’t make you unwelcome.  It just brings in new people for you to talk to about your interests and learn about their interests and makes you a more well-rounded person.

That’s how I feel about cosplayers.  Cosplaying is not really my thing.  I usually dress as something nerdy for Halloween, in a way that at a con would be considered cosplaying, I suppose.  I’ve been Black Canary, Catwoman, and Silk Spectre I.  Those costumes may be revealing, but I wore every single one of them because I was interested in the character (Black Canary in particular was my favorite because she’s my favorite DC heroine). But when it comes to dressing up for cons, I’d rather not.  I was in a cosplay group last year where I dressed as a female version of the 9^th Doctor.  Putting together the costume was fun, and meeting a bunch of other women who were also really into Doctor Who was great.  But at the end of the day, I don’t go to cons to cosplay.  I go to cons to work – to meet creators, check out what folks are doing, do meetings, etc. – and being in costume is not really conducive to that, most of the time (because of my own discomfort with being professional in costume, not because I don’t think anyone should do it). 

So it’s not my thing – but I LOVE seeing cosplayers.  Above all, I love seeing people dressed as characters from things I’m working on, whether they’re huge fans or just love the aesthetic.  It doesn’t matter to me if they’ve bought every issue or watched every episode or know the entire history of the character.  It takes enthusiasm to put on a costume, and that enthusiasm is valuable to the comics industry, because that enthusiasm can be broadened.  Someone who digs the aesthetic of a character, whether they know anything about them at all or not, can be encouraged to get to know more about that character by a welcoming industry, NOT by an industry that tells them they are worthless because they don’t already know everything.  And anyone who has talked to cosplayers knows that almost all of them put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into their costumes – and 100% of the time in my experience, it’s because they love the character they’re dressing as.  That is passion we as an industry should be welcoming, regardless of their interests. 

Oh, you like that manga?  Have you seen this amazing comic by so-and-so? It’s super rad.

Oh, you wore that costume cuz it looks cool?  Did you know that character kicked major ass in this miniseries?  It’s awesome. 

What’s so hard about that?  Cosplayers’ passion does nothing to harm the industry at all.   

But no matter how you slice it, sexism harms comics as an industry and us as a community.  I have yet to read any blog post or Facebook tirade about those awful fake geek guys that are ruining comics.  It’s clear that for many of the people who fear fake geeks, that fear is focused on women.  Maybe it’s because some women teased them about their interests when they were younger, and they see attractive women who don’t seem to be “real” geeks as a threat.  I get that we all have our scars.  But judging strangers based on their appearances and your assumptions about what a geek should look like is no better than other people excluding you because they think you look like a geek.  The next time you meet someone who your geekdar is telling you is not a “real” geek – take a second to think about what that says about you and to think about ways you can both converse to enhance your geek experience.  Because the best part of geek culture is that we as a community LOVE to talk about what we love – and we don’t all have to love exactly the same parts of being a geek. 

Yes, There's Been A Hiatus . . .

But hang on.  Janelle's on her way.

HIATUS

While we've never been completely reactivated since the special Sparkshooter week, here's a note that we've been on official hiatus as Troy writes Grimm Fairy Tales Myths & Legends for Zenescope.  We shall return sometime, perhaps . . .

Help Save the DCUC figure line!

http://www.clubs.mattycollector.com/store/mattycol/en_US/pd/productID.251913100

My Thoughts Watching Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Where One Man Has Never Gone Before:

My Thoughts Watching The Entire Star Trek Series For The First Time

Part Two

 Now we get to the good stuff.

This is where the series title becomes a bit of a cheat, since this is a movie I've already seen (twice I think). But today I'm presenting my thoughts and gently teasing jokes while watching Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

Three years after enduring the Motion Picture, audiences were rewarded with Wrath of Khan.

Geeks are sexist too.

You guys, I'd like to talk about an image that's been circulating around the geekier parts of the Internet this week: an image portraying several real-but-scantily-clad women as being inappropriate role models for girls by contrasting them with several female science fiction characters who were dressed in what I will refer to as "practical" clothing.  Yeah, you know the one I'm talking about (but if not, look right and ignore everything after "ray-gun").

On the top line, we have Snooki, Bella Swann from Twilight (or depending on how you look at it, Kristin Stewart, who plays Bella), I-can't-be-bothered-to-figure-out-which-Kardashian-it-is, Kat von D, and Lady Gaga.  All of them (with perhaps the exception of the Stewart and Snooki images) are depicted in revealing clothing.  I honestly never thought I would observe that Snooki looked classier than someone, but there you have it.  Because these women are dressed scantily (for larger or smaller values of scantily), the image presumes they have no inherent value.

Never mind that Kristin Stewart herself is outspoken, intelligent, actually HATES Twilight, and calls people out in interviews for using the word bitch.  Never mind that Kat von D is famous not because she occasionally chooses to show off her gorgeous body, but because she is incredibly talented in a field that is traditionally considered to be male-dominated (she is a tattoo artist, best known for her work on the series LA Ink).  While nobody is arguing that Gaga has interesting ideas about fashion, she has been an outspoken supporter of the LGBT community and of condom usage among sexually active people.  You will notice that I have not listed a single thing in this paragraph that makes ANY of the women in this image a bad role model.

I have to grant you that in the cases of Snooki and whichever-Kardashian-that-is, I wouldn't consider either of them a role model.  But you have to give them some credit, since they got famous by doing less work than your average technical support manager and have managed to make rather a lot of money doing so.  Regardless, the image implies that these women are less worthy because they choose to dress in a sexy and/or revealing manner, something I take issue with.

Furthermore, you can look at the very same series as are portrayed in the middle row and come up with some terrible examples of progressive female character portrayal.  Princess Leia, leader of the Rebel movement, queen of an entire planet, and twin of JESUS H. SKYWALKER, is presented here in her iconic slave costume.  Because, you know, even a Queen is still a sex object first. 

Now, I'm not going to bother addressing that bottom row of pictures up there individually, but we can see that in the geek cultural world there is still plenty of encouragement to objectify women.  And that's the point, really, that I've been trying to get at with this entire rant.  This image portrays geek culture as being superior because of the presence of non-scantily-clad female role models, but to me this says that women who choose to perform their gender and appearance in ways that people consider "sexy" are worthless.  This image isn't about geeks being progressive, it's about slut shaming real women just because they choose to be sexy.

I've already ranted plenty of times about the sexualization of women in fiction, particularly comics, so I'll leave that thought be, but there is an important distinction to make as to why it's okay for real women to choose to be sexualized and why it's not okay for men to sexualize and objectify women the way they do in fiction, particularly geek fiction.  The women on the top line of the image at the top of this post are celebrating their sexual agency and expressing themselves freely and not at all inappropriately (seeing as all of the fun parts are covered, and Stewart and Snooki are both wearing clothes I wouldn't be ashamed to wear to work).  The women on the other two lines are depictions of (largely) men's ideas on how women should perform their sexuality.

I would be proud to list Gaga and Kat von D among my role models.  I may not like Bella Swann, but neither does Kristin Stewart.  And if anyone would like to pay me tens of thousands of dollars an episode to binge drink and tan myself leathery, I am so there.  Call me.  In the meantime, I propose that instead we celebrate people for having the confidence and bravery to dress however the fuck they like, even if that means bringing an entire new definition to the phrase "skirt steak."

My Thoughts Watching Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Where One Man Has Never Gone Before:

My Thoughts Watching the Entire Star Trek Series For The First Time

Part One

I don't know a lot about Star Trek.

It wasn't anything personal as a result of being a tremendous Star Wars fan; I just didn't have much access to Star Trek. I saw a handful of episodes of the original series in syndication, and had numerous viewings of Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home on cable, when that was a thing you could catch on cable several times a year, in between showings of Father of the Bride.

I was a teenager when I saw The Wrath of Khan; I saw the J. J. Abrams reboot when it came out; and I saw The Search for Spock when I bought a DVD collection because it was cheaper than buying II and IV separately. All the rest, though, is essentially a total mystery to me. And so I decided to watch every Star Trek movie, in order.

Strangers in Paradise OR How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Katchoo

Russ Burlingame

Senior Staff Writer, ComicBook.com

For those of you who complain when reporters or bloggers talk about personal experience in a piece, I apologize up front. But read on, as I don't think the fact that it comes from a personal perspective changes the overall message.

I'm a child of the media, you have to understand.

I mean, not literally. Actually, I'm the child of a couple of center-right, workaholic parents. But the result of that is that often, the clearest and most concise advice I got on a lot of issues was through books, movies, music and TV.

And comics.

My views on race relations, for example, were irrevocably changed by an interview I did for my high school newspaper with Rubin "Hurricane" Carter, the middleweight boxer arrested in New Jersey in 1967 and convicted of a triple-murder he did not commit.

Carter spent 18 years in prison before the U.S. Supreme Court overturned his guilty verdict, saying that he had been convicted as a result of a case that rested on "racism rather than reason" and "concealment rather than disclosure." Try being a blissfully-ignorant, middle-class white teenager who thinks everything's been just peachy for thirty years, and then talking to a guy like that for an hour.

In the wake of the silly little tempest in a teapot that has been the discussion on homosexuality in comics over the last few weeks, I got to thinking about how I went from being a right-wing Christian who argued, and honestly believed, that all "the gays" were going to Hell, to being someone who actively and aggressively argues against that rather silly and embarrassing worldview.

The answer, when I came to one, was three words long: Strangers in Paradise.

Terry Moore's Strangers in Paradise is one of the great works in American sequential art; over the course of many years, Moore gave us three beloved characters--David Qin, Francine Peters and Katina Choovanski--who were more fully fleshed-out than most people I knew in real life. It was easy to really, truly care about these characters, their trials and hopes--and I did.

At the time, I was active in the Church of Christ, and I remember having these long, embarrassing-in-hindsight debates about gay people and how they just haven't tried hard enough to be straight. I was the kind of person that I now want to spray with a fire hose, and I was doing it all "on God's behalf." I was never mean about it (I don't think), just determined, but I'm still incredibly ashamed of the way I talked to people all those years ago, and I thank my good friend Logan Bretschneider for spending literally hours on the phone trying to help me get my head screwed on right.

Luckily for me, I stumbled across Strangers in Paradise when I was in college; I interned at Wizard Magazine and a guy named Andy down the hall was a huge supporter of the series. He convinced me to give it a try and I was almost immediately hooked.

I loved David Qin, who was a great point-of-view character for me. Not only was he the series' only male lead, and a bit of a bewildered one at that, which is a good way to be when you're relating to newcomers who join the series forty issues in or so--but he was a devout Christian in the way that Ned Flanders used to be, back before it took over every aspect of his personality. David was just a nice, quiet guy who believed and let it guide him, but who didn't need to talk about it everytime his mouth was open, and as a Christian I appreciated that.

David was also in love with Katina (Katchoo for short) who was, in turn, in love with Francine. The three of them all spent a lot of time together and occasionally lived together throughout the series, but the bottom line was, they all loved each other very much, all in different ways, but David wanted to be with Katchoo forever, and Katchoo wanted that from Francine--who was raised a :good Christian girl" who doesn't kiss other girls (and anyway wanted kids), and so had a lot of problems coming to grips with her sexuality and the fairly obvious fact that what she really wanted and needed was Katchoo.

And these imminently likable characters that Moore created, along with his clever writing and heartfelt ear for dialogue, changed something very fundamental about the way I perceived homosexuality. When you love someone, it changes your perspective on the issues that directly impact that person and, as crazy as it sounds, at age 21 or so I really loved David, Francine and Katchoo.

I remember distinctly the day that I stopped being bothered that Katchoo--a character I liked and admired for a number of in-story reasons--was in love with another woman and started rooting for Francine to come around. It really was just like a switch went off and I realized that I'd been reading the comic all wrong up til then.

For a long while, my own hangups made that impossible for me to say, and I kept hoping that she would end up with the lovable David (whose status as "great guy" never changed as my own views evolved, largely because David was not a judgmental prick). I justified my thinking to myself first that it was what God would want and then that David was a nice guy and deserved a good life, but ultimately it was about being uncomfortable around homosexuality, something I'd never encountered in life and only knew anything about from what they told us in church and at the Christian summer camp where I would spend the summers until I was 19.

Luckily, I grew up, and I have my (now) friend Terry Moore to thank for that in no small part.

Would I eventually have become a better, more tolerant person without Strangers in Paradise? Probably. The way I used to behave and perceive the world ran contrary to my personal instincts and moral compass even back then, and I've long past grown out of the stage where I'm willing to let "church folk", even the ones I love dearly, tell me how I should think. But it would have been a process and it's unlikely that it would have happened so quickly or that I would have been so immediately self-aware in terms of the preposterous way I was behaving.

So for all of you out there who are dragging out the old "These things have no place in comics--comics should be about escapism and real-world issues don't belong" argument, just remember this: Terry Moore never once did a "political" story about Katina being a lesbian...

(...well, I mean, there was that thing she did with the Senator, but that's a whole other thing...)

...Moore managed to make Katchoo and Francine characters who mattered to the readers--even the ones who went in with their own baggage--and that in doing so he helped at least one person not only to overcome his own prejudices, but hopefully to become a more decent human being to those around him.

If turning (one of a dozen) Green Lantern(s) gay can help even one gay young reader to become more comfortable in his own skin, I'm all for it. And even if it can't, if it can make one emotionally-stunted college guy realize that gay people are, well, people--I'm all for that, too.

And, failing that, if James Robinson can make Alan Scott a compelling character with an interesting personality and a heroic nature...well, then who cares what he does in his time off?

Major Award Winner Shawn Michaels

I had forgotten this gem of the mid '90s... after closing the Barber Shop and putting it out of business on WWF Wrestling Challenge a few years before, Shawn Michaels started his own interview segment on WWF Superstars called the Heartbreak Hotel.

Forget all the accolades of being Hall of Famer, World Heavyweight Champion, WWE Champion, Intercontinental Champion, Tag Team Champion, European Champion, and whatever else... as you can see without even playing the video (there on the right), Shawn Michaels was also a coveted winner of a MAJOR AWARD.

SONDRA LI TAKES THE STAGE IN SPARKSHOOTER!

Via Press Release . . .

 
May 17th, 2012, Indianapolis, IN – When Sparkshooter, the webcomic from Troy Brownfield and Sarah Vaughn, launched in February, it came with the promise that a new singer would shake up the group of friends that formerly provided the backbone of the group Crazy Yeats.  With Crazy Yeats dissolved and a new band in the offing, get ready to meet Sondra Li!

Sondra debuts on Page 13 of Sparkshooter, which posts on Wednesday, May 23^rd.  To commemorate this shift in the story, series artist Sarah Vaughn created a special promo inspired by the work of Carmine Infantino and Murphy Anderson on the cover to Justice League of America #75, the issue wherein Black Canary joins the team.

Writer Troy Brownfield said, “With the arrival of Sondra, the whole story moves into a new direction.  Immediately following Sondra’s debut, you’ll also meet Jack Spencer, the once and future manager of the guys.  He’s going to give you some info in the coming weeks that explains how the boys got together and sets up one of the central conflicts for months to come.”

See it at www.sparkshooter.com.

#WWEClassics on @WWEFanNation

WWE has been really ramping up their YouTube content in recent weeks. Zack Ryder's YouTube show moved to their channel, and they've been doing a lot more backstage programming along with the clips from Raw and Smackdown they were already running.

One of the things they've also been running are a lot more WWE Classics videos. Here is one of the more understated stables in wrestling history and their leaders, Paul E. Dangerously and Ravishing Rick Rude, who made his WCW debut at Halloween Havoc as "the WCW Halloween Phantom". Rude was previously successful in WWE as a member of the Heenan Family, and he achieved even more success in WCW as a member of the Dangerous Alliance. April 20 was the anniversary of Rick Rude's death.

Unfortunately for Tony Schiavone, I think that his Christine Daae joke went over the heads of most of the wrestling audience.

I Watch TV: A Quick Rant on Broadcast Cropping

I don't know if this is a decision made on the local level or what, but NBC is the only network that consistently shows its 16:9 shows in 16:9 format, even on the non-HD broadcast. I don't understand this, because I guarantee the other stations would get more viewers if they didn't crop the shows to fit 4:3 screens. Audiences have gotten used to the black bars by now. For example, I was all excited about "Person of Interest", only everything was so crowded and fuzzy I couldn't make it to four episodes. I know, I know; I could watch it on Hulu or whatever, but it's just not the same. I have the same beef with movies, too, only that's just as bad on cable as it is anywhere.

I don't really have a larger point I'm getting to, just that it's annoying and I wish it would stop. Just wanted to get that off my chest.

Why yes, I do feel better. Thanks.

Avi's new motto is the wisdom of "Phineas & Ferb": "You know, 'willy-nilly barging' is a plan, of sorts."

Related to your interests, probably

So AMC Theaters is doing a thing where they show all five Avengers lead-up movies ("Iron Man", etc.) in a day-long marathon on May 3rd, with the midnight premiere of "The Avengers" capping things off. It's going to be awesome, and you better believe I bought my ticket weeks ago, through Fandango. At the time, the only participating theater in my area was alllllll the way on the other side of the city -- we're talking a 30-minute drive minimum (if I take the interstate bypass, and if there's no real traffic, which is unlikely). It's nearly this city's literal geographic apogee from my living space's location. I thought "what the heck, you only live once" and prepared myself for the journey. However, yesterday I went on the event website to get more information and found that another theater in my city is now participating -- and this one's on my side of town, and is 15 minutes away by surface streets. Boo! Living once doesn't have to mean risking my life if I don't have to. If I'm going to drive home at 3 a.m., I'd rather do it on short, familiar streets than some god-forsaken stretch of six-lane highway. "Guardrail" isn't a good look for my car, or my face.

So, armed with heroic resolve and more than a little chutzpah, I decided to see if I could get my ticket switched to the closer location. Fandango's website was a little vague for my tastes, and when I called customer service, I got a phone tree that referred me back to the website. I stewed for a while, talked it over with A Trusted Friend and decided to try again. (Buying a new ticket without possibility of a refund was not appetizing -- this one in particular is dang expensive.) I sat through the terrible hold music (and it was terrible, scratchy and full of static and mostly made of synthesizers, and not the good kind), but my patience paid off and I was connected to a lovely young lady in Rochester, NY. I explained the situation, and she said that while she couldn't switch the original ticket, if I went ahead and bought a new one for the correct theater, she'd put the old one in for a refund. More to the point, she'd do it right then, while we were on the phone. I booted the lappy and we chatted about the weather in our respective locations, and lo and behold! All went well! I got my new ticket, and this morning I got a confirmation e-mail that my refund for the original will be deposited in 3-5 business days. So, all in all, a win! Fandango has won a repeat customer.

Although I can't help but wonder if the excruciating hold music isn't there on purpose to weed out the weak and unresolved, like when you have to defeat a dragon before you can enter the Cave of Refunds. I guess it helps if you go into it thinking questy thoughts.

Avi Stiletto has posted here before, you just didn't know it. Crossposted from my other blog, which I won't link here because Privacy. Anyhoo ... AVENGERS!

No Explanation Needed

Pro Wrestling Needs More Genuine Emotion

This speech from the Hall of Fame induction ceremonies two weeks ago exemplifies what has made wrestling great throughout the ages and what is missing now:

This wasn't just a great promo... it was a great speech.

5 Things That Will Never Go Out of Style in Pro Wrestling #2

2) Funny doesn't draw money.

The adage is true, but when you think of things that you remember fondly from your own memories of pro wrestling, aren't the funny things the ones that stick out in your mind?

The problem is that a lot of what wrestling offers as funny isn't funny. That's why we have moments where Triple H rigorously copulated with a mannequin named Katie Vick or Vince McMahon laughed maniacally over a penis pump he received as a gift that blew up in his face. Again, a lot of it is this "audience of one" problem that WWE has. TNA is guilty--remember how Kevin Nash buried the X-Division and made-believe he was some kind of therapist? And don't get me started on the indy show I went to where they had a "dildo on a pole" match.

The adage should really state: "funny doesn't draw money when it's not funny". There's no doubt that Rock, Austin and the stars of the Attitude era and the New World Order could back up their mic skills in the ring. But if Rock was on a show and the fans didn't get to sing along with a champ, you just KNOW there would be a riot.

The nice thing about today's crop of "funny" stars is that the humor is more natural and not as forced. Guys can be funny without cutting promos. Social media allows for more flexibility. This is why we've seen guys like Zack Ryder and Colt Cabana draw a fan base outside of the traditional WWE marketing machine.

So, yeah... funny does draw money, and it has throughout history:

Santino Marella:

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: A Post-Mortem

In 2008, the incredibly tardy Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull returned cinema's most beloved archaeologist to the big screen almost two whole decades after The Last Crusade.

While it's certainly not as widely reviled as other modern sequels to classic series, I feel safe saying that most found Crystal Skull disappointing. Many people walked out of the theater blaming things like monkeys and fridges. While those are absolutely elements of the movie's failure, my autopsy has uncovered a number of other causes of death.[1]

The first is that this movie had nothing to live for.

5 Things in Pro Wrestling That Need to Go Away #3

#3 Vince McMahon

Vince McMahon has often been termed an "audience of one", and that has been no more apparent than at this year's Wrestlemania. McMahon has surrendered some of the day-to-day control of the on-camera product to Triple H and his daughter Stephanie, but it was widely reported that Vince still considers the annual event to be his baby.

In lieu of actually reviewing Wrestlemania 28 this year, I thought the show fit in with the theme of this series. The matches that are getting the highest praise on the show are the ones where I imagine Vince trusted the guys well enough to go where they wanted to with it. I can't imagine Vince giving Rock, Undertaker and Jericho much more than a finish and a time limit and then letting them go figure it out on their own.

On the other hand, you have the 18-second opener where Daniel Bryan dropped the World Championship to Sheamus. This match did nothing for either side, but it's the sort of thing that you know Vince was in the back saying, "Aha! Can't you see... haha! it would be funny! FUNNY! haha! If we have the fastest title match at... haha! WRRRRRRRRRESTLLLLLLLLLLEMANIAAAAAAAAAAA! And we'll do it with the pasty ginger guy! haha! And the vegetarian!"

"Ummmmmmm... what's a vegan?"

Here Comes the Pain... Again!

So... yeah, Brock Lesnar is back in WWE after taking nearly a decade off to try and make it in the NFL and become the UFC Heavyweight Champion.

If we've learned anything from Wrestlemania 28, it's this: WWE has no problem offering up their cash cow as a sacrificial lamb if they think it will draw money. Your brain would tell you that John Cena should have beat Rocky on Sunday. Like he said for the last month, after Rock leaves, he'll still be there. Hogan passed the torch and did the job for Rocky, and it should have been passed along.

The current generation of fans don't remember Wrestlemania 18 in Toronto though, so this is truly their "once in a lifetime" match. The problem with promoting a once in a lifetime match: how do you get people to tune in after that? And buy the next show after that? After all, once you get that high, everything else is just crap in comparison, right? What's the next big thing?

It seems that literally is what WWE went out to get. With Lesnar, you again get a guy with credibility outside of WWE (this time in the sports world instead of the entertainment world). You get a guy that doesn't need or have to work a full-time schedule, so he'll naturally be fresh. The problem is that you can't book this match a year out. The furthest out they could promote this match would be Summer Slam, at which point Rock might get involved again.

I don't know... the whole thing seems weird to me. Although they never had the crossover appeal that Rock has, could you imagine Vince going to Undertaker this year and asking him to put over Rock at Wrestlemania? Triple H? Heck, I don't think even CM Punk would do that now, and he certainly doesn't have the tenure of those guys.

John Cena is a merchandising and publicity machine... a commodity. I think that's what we've seen the most from him over the last year. CM Punk and Rocky have played the babyface often against him when they've not been traditional babyfaces, yet he still lays out and sells out. The question you have to wonder is, how many times can they set him up to get beat up by the fans and still remain a draw?