I Watch TV: A Quick Rant on Broadcast Cropping

I don't know if this is a decision made on the local level or what, but NBC is the only network that consistently shows its 16:9 shows in 16:9 format, even on the non-HD broadcast. I don't understand this, because I guarantee the other stations would get more viewers if they didn't crop the shows to fit 4:3 screens. Audiences have gotten used to the black bars by now. For example, I was all excited about "Person of Interest", only everything was so crowded and fuzzy I couldn't make it to four episodes. I know, I know; I could watch it on Hulu or whatever, but it's just not the same. I have the same beef with movies, too, only that's just as bad on cable as it is anywhere.

I don't really have a larger point I'm getting to, just that it's annoying and I wish it would stop. Just wanted to get that off my chest.

Why yes, I do feel better. Thanks.

Avi's new motto is the wisdom of "Phineas & Ferb": "You know, 'willy-nilly barging' is a plan, of sorts."

Related to your interests, probably

So AMC Theaters is doing a thing where they show all five Avengers lead-up movies ("Iron Man", etc.) in a day-long marathon on May 3rd, with the midnight premiere of "The Avengers" capping things off. It's going to be awesome, and you better believe I bought my ticket weeks ago, through Fandango. At the time, the only participating theater in my area was alllllll the way on the other side of the city -- we're talking a 30-minute drive minimum (if I take the interstate bypass, and if there's no real traffic, which is unlikely). It's nearly this city's literal geographic apogee from my living space's location. I thought "what the heck, you only live once" and prepared myself for the journey. However, yesterday I went on the event website to get more information and found that another theater in my city is now participating -- and this one's on my side of town, and is 15 minutes away by surface streets. Boo! Living once doesn't have to mean risking my life if I don't have to. If I'm going to drive home at 3 a.m., I'd rather do it on short, familiar streets than some god-forsaken stretch of six-lane highway. "Guardrail" isn't a good look for my car, or my face.

So, armed with heroic resolve and more than a little chutzpah, I decided to see if I could get my ticket switched to the closer location. Fandango's website was a little vague for my tastes, and when I called customer service, I got a phone tree that referred me back to the website. I stewed for a while, talked it over with A Trusted Friend and decided to try again. (Buying a new ticket without possibility of a refund was not appetizing -- this one in particular is dang expensive.) I sat through the terrible hold music (and it was terrible, scratchy and full of static and mostly made of synthesizers, and not the good kind), but my patience paid off and I was connected to a lovely young lady in Rochester, NY. I explained the situation, and she said that while she couldn't switch the original ticket, if I went ahead and bought a new one for the correct theater, she'd put the old one in for a refund. More to the point, she'd do it right then, while we were on the phone. I booted the lappy and we chatted about the weather in our respective locations, and lo and behold! All went well! I got my new ticket, and this morning I got a confirmation e-mail that my refund for the original will be deposited in 3-5 business days. So, all in all, a win! Fandango has won a repeat customer.

Although I can't help but wonder if the excruciating hold music isn't there on purpose to weed out the weak and unresolved, like when you have to defeat a dragon before you can enter the Cave of Refunds. I guess it helps if you go into it thinking questy thoughts.

Avi Stiletto has posted here before, you just didn't know it. Crossposted from my other blog, which I won't link here because Privacy. Anyhoo ... AVENGERS!

No Explanation Needed

Pro Wrestling Needs More Genuine Emotion

This speech from the Hall of Fame induction ceremonies two weeks ago exemplifies what has made wrestling great throughout the ages and what is missing now:

This wasn't just a great promo... it was a great speech.

5 Things That Will Never Go Out of Style in Pro Wrestling #2

2) Funny doesn't draw money.

The adage is true, but when you think of things that you remember fondly from your own memories of pro wrestling, aren't the funny things the ones that stick out in your mind?

The problem is that a lot of what wrestling offers as funny isn't funny. That's why we have moments where Triple H rigorously copulated with a mannequin named Katie Vick or Vince McMahon laughed maniacally over a penis pump he received as a gift that blew up in his face. Again, a lot of it is this "audience of one" problem that WWE has. TNA is guilty--remember how Kevin Nash buried the X-Division and made-believe he was some kind of therapist? And don't get me started on the indy show I went to where they had a "dildo on a pole" match.

The adage should really state: "funny doesn't draw money when it's not funny". There's no doubt that Rock, Austin and the stars of the Attitude era and the New World Order could back up their mic skills in the ring. But if Rock was on a show and the fans didn't get to sing along with a champ, you just KNOW there would be a riot.

The nice thing about today's crop of "funny" stars is that the humor is more natural and not as forced. Guys can be funny without cutting promos. Social media allows for more flexibility. This is why we've seen guys like Zack Ryder and Colt Cabana draw a fan base outside of the traditional WWE marketing machine.

So, yeah... funny does draw money, and it has throughout history:

Santino Marella:

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: A Post-Mortem

In 2008, the incredibly tardy Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull returned cinema's most beloved archaeologist to the big screen almost two whole decades after The Last Crusade.

While it's certainly not as widely reviled as other modern sequels to classic series, I feel safe saying that most found Crystal Skull disappointing. Many people walked out of the theater blaming things like monkeys and fridges. While those are absolutely elements of the movie's failure, my autopsy has uncovered a number of other causes of death.[1]

The first is that this movie had nothing to live for.

5 Things in Pro Wrestling That Need to Go Away #3

#3 Vince McMahon

Vince McMahon has often been termed an "audience of one", and that has been no more apparent than at this year's Wrestlemania. McMahon has surrendered some of the day-to-day control of the on-camera product to Triple H and his daughter Stephanie, but it was widely reported that Vince still considers the annual event to be his baby.

In lieu of actually reviewing Wrestlemania 28 this year, I thought the show fit in with the theme of this series. The matches that are getting the highest praise on the show are the ones where I imagine Vince trusted the guys well enough to go where they wanted to with it. I can't imagine Vince giving Rock, Undertaker and Jericho much more than a finish and a time limit and then letting them go figure it out on their own.

On the other hand, you have the 18-second opener where Daniel Bryan dropped the World Championship to Sheamus. This match did nothing for either side, but it's the sort of thing that you know Vince was in the back saying, "Aha! Can't you see... haha! it would be funny! FUNNY! haha! If we have the fastest title match at... haha! WRRRRRRRRRESTLLLLLLLLLLEMANIAAAAAAAAAAA! And we'll do it with the pasty ginger guy! haha! And the vegetarian!"

"Ummmmmmm... what's a vegan?"

Here Comes the Pain... Again!

So... yeah, Brock Lesnar is back in WWE after taking nearly a decade off to try and make it in the NFL and become the UFC Heavyweight Champion.

If we've learned anything from Wrestlemania 28, it's this: WWE has no problem offering up their cash cow as a sacrificial lamb if they think it will draw money. Your brain would tell you that John Cena should have beat Rocky on Sunday. Like he said for the last month, after Rock leaves, he'll still be there. Hogan passed the torch and did the job for Rocky, and it should have been passed along.

The current generation of fans don't remember Wrestlemania 18 in Toronto though, so this is truly their "once in a lifetime" match. The problem with promoting a once in a lifetime match: how do you get people to tune in after that? And buy the next show after that? After all, once you get that high, everything else is just crap in comparison, right? What's the next big thing?

It seems that literally is what WWE went out to get. With Lesnar, you again get a guy with credibility outside of WWE (this time in the sports world instead of the entertainment world). You get a guy that doesn't need or have to work a full-time schedule, so he'll naturally be fresh. The problem is that you can't book this match a year out. The furthest out they could promote this match would be Summer Slam, at which point Rock might get involved again.

I don't know... the whole thing seems weird to me. Although they never had the crossover appeal that Rock has, could you imagine Vince going to Undertaker this year and asking him to put over Rock at Wrestlemania? Triple H? Heck, I don't think even CM Punk would do that now, and he certainly doesn't have the tenure of those guys.

John Cena is a merchandising and publicity machine... a commodity. I think that's what we've seen the most from him over the last year. CM Punk and Rocky have played the babyface often against him when they've not been traditional babyfaces, yet he still lays out and sells out. The question you have to wonder is, how many times can they set him up to get beat up by the fans and still remain a draw?